The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
