You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
