On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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