Christians are straight up FREAKS
I don't think brook has ever known best
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
