um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
