I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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