i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
