dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize