It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
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