How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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