Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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