so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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