I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
