he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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