just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
someone owes me an orgasm
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
