Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
