do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
