Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
