I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
