Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
