he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
