ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
