I accidentally had phone sex last night
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
