i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
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His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
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Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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