I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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