i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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