Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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