I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
