I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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