giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
