there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize