I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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