I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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