I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
