Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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