Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
