I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
