Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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