I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just sent this text using only my big toe
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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