Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Ladies don't puke and tell
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
