i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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