why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
