so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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