You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
