I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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