Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
