she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize