Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Randomize
