More tranny stories later!
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
