Dude my mom stole all your condoms
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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