Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
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I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
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Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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