Yo dont text me then not text me
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
