Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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